When does wanting to do well become a source of anxiety? For a growing number of young people, the pressure to succeed may be taking a toll on their emotional wellbeing. Anxiety is part of being human, and adolescence gives it plenty to work with.
We encourage young people to aim high, work hard and take pride in their achievements. But what happens when the desire to succeed becomes a fear of falling short, and even considerable achievements never feel quite good enough?
A 2026 study published in the American Psychological Association's Psychological Bulletin suggests that perfectionism among young people is increasing. Drawing on 35 years of research involving more than 82,000 university students across the United States, Canada and the United Kingdom, researchers found that young people are becoming increasingly demanding of themselves while perceiving greater expectations from others.
Of particular concern is the rise in socially prescribed perfectionism — the belief that acceptance and approval depend on meeting other people's exceptionally high standards.
Excellence is something to strive for. Perfection should never be the price of self-worth.
Perfectionism is not simply about wanting to do well. It can involve a deeply held belief that mistakes reflect personal inadequacy, or that one's worth depends on achievement. A young person experiencing perfectionism might spend excessive time on assignments, become distressed by disappointing grades, avoid unfamiliar activities for fear of failure, or constantly compare themselves with others. Outwardly, they may appear motivated and accomplished. Internally, however, they may struggle with self-doubt, anxiety and a persistent sense of inadequacy. The distinction is important: striving for excellence is not the same as believing that anything less than perfection is unacceptable.
The researchers highlight broader social and cultural influences, including competitive educational environments, social comparison and heightened expectations surrounding achievement. For young people growing up in Singapore, where academic performance and educational pathways can carry considerable significance, these findings offer important food for thought.
Parents, too, are navigating these pressures. Understandably wanting the best for their children, they may inadvertently communicate that success is especially important, even when their intention is simply to encourage and support. The challenge is not to abandon ambition, but to ensure that achievement does not become the primary measure of a young person's worth.
What can parents do?
Parents can help young people develop a healthier relationship with achievement through small but meaningful changes. Recognising effort rather than focusing solely on outcomes can help children value persistence, curiosity and the willingness to try. Equally important is making room for mistakes and helping them understand that setbacks are a natural part of learning rather than evidence of failure. When young people express worries about grades or performance, parents can resist the instinct to immediately reassure or dismiss their concerns. Instead, listening with curiosity and exploring what those worries mean can create opportunities for more meaningful conversations.
Above all, children need to know that love, acceptance and belonging are not conditional on success. Paying attention to how a child experiences expectations, rather than focusing solely on how well they appear to be coping, can make an important difference.
When might counselling help?
If perfectionism contributes to persistent anxiety, avoidance or emotional distress, counselling can provide a supportive space to explore the beliefs and pressures underlying these experiences. At The Interval, we recognise that young people's emotional wellbeing is closely connected to their family relationships, educational experiences and wider environments. Helping young people thrive is not about lowering their aspirations. It is about helping them recognise that their value extends far beyond what they achieve.